1
00:00:03,102 --> 00:00:06,571
[♪]
2
00:01:15,641 --> 00:01:17,142
[meowing]
3
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,648
[yelps]
4
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:29,554
[groans]
5
00:01:34,893 --> 00:01:36,961
Ah. Ooh.
6
00:01:37,963 --> 00:01:40,398
Ah, it-- it hurts me
to see you in pain.
7
00:01:40,399 --> 00:01:41,432
[gasps]
8
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:44,769
See? All better.
9
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:48,273
What are you doing?
10
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:49,941
Checking for my nipple.
11
00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:56,247
Where's mr. Fluffy?
12
00:01:56,248 --> 00:01:57,649
Your cat?
13
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,818
He was hungry, so I threw him
out the window.
14
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:00,751
Pop!
15
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:04,722
[meows]
16
00:02:04,723 --> 00:02:06,090
Awww...
17
00:02:06,091 --> 00:02:08,493
Mr. Fluffy.
18
00:02:09,728 --> 00:02:12,530
Pop, don't kid me
like that.
19
00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:15,400
But I know you love
mr. Fluffy.
20
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,867
Now, go on,
kiss him.
21
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:18,436
I'll do better
than that.
22
00:02:18,437 --> 00:02:21,239
I'll give him
some advice: Grow wings.
23
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,540
Sit down.
24
00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:24,476
I'm makin' breakfast
this morning.
25
00:02:33,886 --> 00:02:36,888
W-w-wait a minute.
Use a napkin.
26
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,930
You wouldn't perchance
be miffed at me
27
00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:47,899
Because I lost the fight,
would ya?
28
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,368
"lost" is such
a harsh word.
29
00:02:50,369 --> 00:02:53,538
Let's just say
ya came in second.
30
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:56,675
Here.
31
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,443
I got a special treat
for ya.
32
00:03:00,746 --> 00:03:03,448
Hey, don't worry.
33
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,850
There are plenty of other
opportunities out there
34
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:08,386
For a smart guy
like me.
35
00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:11,088
Uh, definitely,
definitely.
36
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:15,760
Name any one
of the great lakes.
37
00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:18,763
Lake folbert.
38
00:03:18,764 --> 00:03:20,732
Remember?
39
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,934
Where you taught me
how to swim?
40
00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,836
What a great lake.
41
00:03:27,939 --> 00:03:30,308
Hey, I'm still gonna
make ya proud of me.
42
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:31,942
I used a couple
of your connections
43
00:03:31,943 --> 00:03:33,177
In the business world,
44
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:36,013
And I got myself
a job as a busboy.
45
00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:40,352
A busboy?
Hey, that's great.
46
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:43,054
Say, bring me home
a half-eaten roll, will ya?
47
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,859
We need a new plan
for you.
48
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,228
I want more
for you than...
49
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,896
Than just being me.
50
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,600
As wonderful
as I am.
51
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:57,502
[knock on door]
52
00:04:02,174 --> 00:04:05,242
You know, pop, you and mom
were a lot alike.
53
00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:07,879
One of the last things
she said to me was,
54
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,950
"whatever you be,
be more than your father."
55
00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:18,556
Hi, vinnie.
Hi, mona.
56
00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:25,196
Vinnie,
57
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:26,398
Why don't you
tell your father
58
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,034
That my mom needs everything
in her apartment fixed...
59
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,335
Now.
60
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,637
Everything
in her apartment? Why?
61
00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:36,807
Because then we can spend
the next two weeks alone.
62
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,277
[quietly]
hey.
63
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:40,912
Mona, mona, mona.
64
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,482
Hoy! Hey-y.
65
00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:46,251
Why don't you come back
a little later?
66
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,719
Really? When?
67
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,387
When you're
no longer a felony.
68
00:05:02,434 --> 00:05:03,667
Where is he?
69
00:05:03,668 --> 00:05:06,270
[toilet flushes]
70
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:17,482
Charlie!
71
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,483
[laughs]
72
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,484
Hey, al.
73
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,119
Vinnie!
Heh-heh-heh!
74
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:25,023
So, al, did you happen
to watch the kid's fight?
75
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,924
Naw, naw, I listened to it
on the radio.
76
00:05:26,925 --> 00:05:29,727
Naw, I was gonna watch it
on tv, but, uh, heh,
77
00:05:29,728 --> 00:05:31,028
I don't have
one anymore.
78
00:05:31,029 --> 00:05:32,897
I bet it
on your kid.
79
00:05:32,898 --> 00:05:34,132
[all laughing]
80
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,133
[grunting]
81
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,536
Easy, al.
Listen, al.
82
00:05:38,537 --> 00:05:40,638
I know
that feels good,
83
00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:42,640
But, uh, it's not gonna
bring your tv back.
84
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,842
No, that tv was
my baby.
85
00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:47,478
Got me through
a lot of rough times.
86
00:05:47,479 --> 00:05:50,749
I watched it when
we conceived our two kids.
87
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,885
I still remember putting
my forearm in peg's mouth
88
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,853
To shut her up,
so I could hear get smart.
89
00:05:58,289 --> 00:06:00,290
Yeah, for bud...
For bud I wised up.
90
00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:01,759
Put her head
by the foot of the bed,
91
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,293
So I could watch too.
92
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:07,197
Now it doesn't matter
which way I turn her,
93
00:06:07,198 --> 00:06:09,534
The magic is gone.
94
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:13,270
Mr. Bundy,
I'll buy you a tv.
95
00:06:13,271 --> 00:06:15,205
I got a new job.
96
00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:17,107
Yeah.
Share my pride.
97
00:06:17,108 --> 00:06:19,276
He's a busboy.
98
00:06:20,278 --> 00:06:23,514
Al, you're not much more
than a busboy.
99
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:27,118
My kid's at
a difficult age,
100
00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:28,820
Where he just might
turn into a you.
101
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:34,125
Help him out.
Give him some advice.
102
00:06:34,126 --> 00:06:36,995
Don't marry.
103
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,864
Don't marry!
104
00:06:39,865 --> 00:06:42,633
It's only good
for the woman.
105
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:44,335
Yeah, see,
women got it made.
106
00:06:44,336 --> 00:06:46,037
They find some guy to marry,
107
00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:49,040
Then they steal his youth,
his paycheck and his dreams.
108
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,976
Oh, yeah,
then their butt gets big.
109
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,980
Then you die,
their butt gets smaller
110
00:06:55,981 --> 00:06:57,381
Till the next guy
comes along.
111
00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:00,551
Oh, no,
next to being a dog,
112
00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:02,987
A beautiful woman
is the thing to be.
113
00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:04,622
I'm sorry, al, but you don't
have the butt
114
00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,090
To be a beautiful woman.
115
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:09,627
Ehh, I let myself go.
116
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:11,128
Hey, don't run yourself down.
117
00:07:11,129 --> 00:07:13,230
Ya still got
a beautiful smile.
118
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,801
Uh... Uh...
119
00:07:17,802 --> 00:07:20,971
Do you two wanna be alone
or anything?
120
00:07:20,972 --> 00:07:24,342
Do you mind? He was just gonna
say something nice to me.
121
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,110
Ah, the moment's past.
122
00:07:26,111 --> 00:07:29,714
You know what we shoulda done
when we were young studs?
123
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:30,882
What?
124
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:33,017
Married us a couple
of rich babes.
125
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:34,385
See, that way
all we'd have to do
126
00:07:34,386 --> 00:07:35,720
Is get up late...
Yeah.
127
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,955
Pump a little iron
to stay in shape...
Yeah.
128
00:07:37,956 --> 00:07:39,990
Let the robe pop open
a little to show the maid
129
00:07:39,991 --> 00:07:41,992
What she could have
if she saved her pennies...
130
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,730
And settle back
on the couch,
131
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,365
Get stinking drunk
and pick your feet
132
00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:50,334
Till the cows come home.
133
00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:54,639
I can't think of a fuller,
more satisfying life.
134
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,909
Ah, but time
has passed us by.
135
00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,610
Young women today
don't understand it.
136
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:01,946
We don't wanna go right
to sleep after sex.
137
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:03,214
We have to.
138
00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:07,618
Ah, I guess it's
a young man's world.
139
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:16,226
I think I am getting
a new verducci master plan.
140
00:08:17,596 --> 00:08:19,063
No.
141
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:20,798
Please, no.
142
00:08:20,799 --> 00:08:22,100
Yes.
143
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,534
Ooh, I love this plan.
144
00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:24,868
For it to work,
145
00:08:24,869 --> 00:08:27,271
You are gonna have
to meet a rich woman.
146
00:08:27,272 --> 00:08:28,973
No, no, no, I know
what you're gonna say.
147
00:08:28,974 --> 00:08:31,910
There's a shortage
of rich women in our tenement.
148
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:34,045
H-hey, charlie.
149
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,780
I was thinking
about what you were saying,
150
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:37,648
But I don't have to
go to sleep after sex.
151
00:08:37,649 --> 00:08:41,019
I wanna go to sleep
after sex.
152
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,121
I-- I welcome the darkness.
153
00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:48,159
Anyhow, there'll be plenty
of rich women
154
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,296
At that fundraiser
you were busboy'ing tonight.
155
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,463
Here's my plan.
156
00:08:52,464 --> 00:08:54,832
We go, we have
a bite to eat,
157
00:08:54,833 --> 00:08:57,001
And you marry
a millionaire.
158
00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:58,569
You with me?
159
00:08:58,570 --> 00:08:59,804
No.
160
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,040
He's so cute.
161
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,809
He thinks
he has a vote.
162
00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,315
[elegant music playing]
163
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,251
See?
[exhales]
164
00:09:14,252 --> 00:09:16,053
What's so difficult?
165
00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:18,956
Stand on a couple
of garbage cans,
166
00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:20,691
You break a window...
167
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:26,930
...And you're
in high society.
168
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:29,800
Let's go charm the crap
out of these people.
169
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:33,838
Look...
170
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,806
You don't have
to worry.
171
00:09:35,807 --> 00:09:38,976
To prepare us,
I have read trump,
172
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,911
The wall street journal,
173
00:09:40,912 --> 00:09:44,581
And a magazine called
rich babes in chains.
174
00:09:48,419 --> 00:09:50,287
Now, I have distilled
their wisdom
175
00:09:50,288 --> 00:09:51,822
Into three key phrases.
176
00:09:51,823 --> 00:09:54,691
So if you get confused,
simply say either,
177
00:09:54,692 --> 00:09:57,361
"how about that market?"
178
00:09:57,362 --> 00:10:00,464
"damn democrats,"
179
00:10:00,465 --> 00:10:04,001
Or, "punish me.
I've been very, very bad."
180
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:10,174
As for myself, I'm not worried.
'cause, hey, I fit in anywhere.
181
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,142
You, over here.
182
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,783
You call this a meatball?
183
00:10:20,285 --> 00:10:24,221
Bet a couple of days ago,
it had a saddle on it.
184
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:26,023
Be gone.
185
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,962
We're gonna get
thrown out of here.
186
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,363
We don't belong.
187
00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:34,531
See, pop, it's like I learned
in high school.
188
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:37,634
This famous
philosopher--
189
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,103
I can't remember
his name.
190
00:10:39,104 --> 00:10:41,839
--Said, "the poor..."
191
00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:47,011
Jeez, I don't remember
what he said either.
192
00:10:47,012 --> 00:10:48,679
What'd he say?
193
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,947
I don't know.
194
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:52,516
The point is,
we're poor, they're rich.
195
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:53,985
That's the way
it should be.
196
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,253
They're just better
than us, that's all.
197
00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:57,254
Hey, I know who it was.
198
00:10:57,255 --> 00:10:59,556
It was the greek guy there,
pluto.
199
00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,159
Man:
Nelson!
200
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,861
You were away
all summer.
201
00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:05,729
Well, it gets
insufferably warm in August,
202
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,498
So we took the yacht
to the greek islands.
203
00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:08,599
Ah.
204
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,734
And then my puffy just had
to go to madrid
205
00:11:10,735 --> 00:11:12,703
To pick some tapestries
for the new villa.
206
00:11:12,704 --> 00:11:15,072
Yes, I know
how that is. Ha-ha!
207
00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:16,740
Oh, look, uh...
The meatballs.
208
00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:17,741
Huh.
209
00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:24,948
That's better than us?
210
00:11:24,949 --> 00:11:26,950
Hey, they couldn't live
for one minute
211
00:11:26,951 --> 00:11:28,252
In our neighborhood,
212
00:11:28,253 --> 00:11:30,521
But I could live
a lifetime in theirs.
213
00:11:32,123 --> 00:11:33,591
And I intend to.
214
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:34,658
Pop.
215
00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:36,627
No, pop. Don't.
216
00:11:36,628 --> 00:11:38,195
Nelson!
217
00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:41,632
[in french accent]
charles.
218
00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:43,634
[in normal voice]
verducci.
219
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:46,703
Greece, at
the yacht club.
220
00:11:46,704 --> 00:11:49,407
Say, did puffy get
those tapestries
221
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,675
She was
talking about?
222
00:11:51,676 --> 00:11:52,809
You know
that puffster.
223
00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:54,445
She always gets
what she's after,
224
00:11:54,446 --> 00:11:58,049
And as I recall,
she was always after this guy.
225
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,485
[all laughing]
226
00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:03,086
Same old charles.
227
00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:04,889
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same old charles.
228
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:10,461
Well, you boys seem
to be having fun.
229
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:12,497
I don't believe
I've had the pleasure.
230
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,531
Well, allow me.
231
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:14,565
Uh, kathleen morgan,
232
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:17,635
Meet my very dear friend,
uh-- uh--
233
00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,136
Charles verducci,
what do you say?
234
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:21,806
[snickers]
235
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,774
Well, I see
by your shirt
236
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:26,611
That you've been sampling
our meatballs.
237
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,513
And I see
by your shirt
238
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,882
You got mighty
powerful buttons.
239
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:36,486
[all laughing]
240
00:12:36,487 --> 00:12:38,956
Okay, if he can do it,
241
00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:39,957
I can do it.
242
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,727
I'm a rich guy.
I fit in.
243
00:12:44,395 --> 00:12:47,164
How 'bout that market?
244
00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:48,332
What about it?
245
00:12:55,006 --> 00:12:57,541
Damn democrats.
246
00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:58,943
What about them?
247
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,183
[man laughing]
248
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:07,551
[laughs]
249
00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:15,692
Uh, punish me.
I've been very, very bad.
250
00:13:20,031 --> 00:13:23,200
United chemical, that's where
I'm putting my money.
251
00:13:23,201 --> 00:13:24,701
Well, I think
it's overpriced.
252
00:13:24,702 --> 00:13:28,438
Stick with the blue chip
of the blue-chippers: Ibm.
253
00:13:28,439 --> 00:13:30,641
What do you like,
charles?
254
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:35,479
Long hair, short dresses
and big hooters.
255
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,547
[all laughing]
256
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:45,322
Hey, sweetheart.
How you doin'?
257
00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:47,124
You-- you've been to a lot
of these things.
258
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:48,191
Let me ask you something:
259
00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:50,027
Do I look like
I belong here?
260
00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:53,831
You look like you belong
anywhere you wanna be.
261
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,933
Well, where I wanna be
is in a cold place
262
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,435
Holding a warm you.
263
00:13:57,436 --> 00:14:00,571
What do you say after this
fiasco, you and I go-- ah!
264
00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,575
What the hell
are you doing?
265
00:14:04,576 --> 00:14:06,744
We're not here
to bag a waitress.
266
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:08,312
I like waitresses.
267
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:09,880
I like waitresses too.
268
00:14:09,881 --> 00:14:11,682
But tonight,
we're after bigger game.
269
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,584
Now, go mingle
with the rich.
270
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:14,651
Pop,
why is it always me
271
00:14:14,652 --> 00:14:16,853
In the verducci
master plan, huh?
272
00:14:16,854 --> 00:14:18,655
I'm tired of being
the pawn
273
00:14:18,656 --> 00:14:20,590
In your cosmic
game of checkers.
274
00:14:22,627 --> 00:14:24,128
Why don't you marry
a millionaire?
275
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,129
Me?
276
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,830
Yeah.
277
00:14:26,831 --> 00:14:28,598
You got a real cute one
over there
278
00:14:28,599 --> 00:14:30,134
Giving you
the buffalo eye.
279
00:14:31,502 --> 00:14:32,736
Oh, yeah? Who?
280
00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:33,737
Over there.
281
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:43,881
Oh, would that
it could be.
282
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:45,883
But that one,
see, she's married.
283
00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,651
In fact, to two guys.
284
00:14:47,652 --> 00:14:49,119
So, hey, if one of 'em
drops dead,
285
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,621
I'm still out of luck.
286
00:14:50,622 --> 00:14:52,322
Huh? You get it?
I got it.
287
00:14:52,323 --> 00:14:53,624
Huh? You okay?
Yeah.
288
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,760
Good. Now, so get back
to work, okay?
289
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:59,397
And just think millionaire,
millionaire, millionaire.
290
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,265
Millionaire.
Millionaire.
291
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,735
Millionaire.
Millionaire.
292
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:07,504
Did you know
I was a millionaire?
293
00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:08,839
[gasps]
294
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:24,221
Miss, excuse me. I think
you dropped your purse.
295
00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:25,322
Oh.
296
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:30,827
Thank you.
297
00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:32,062
Thank you.
298
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:35,532
[whistling]
299
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:47,644
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho!
300
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:54,485
You just wanted to see me
bend over, didn't you?
301
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,887
What were you thinking?
302
00:15:56,888 --> 00:15:57,888
Well, let's just say
303
00:15:57,889 --> 00:16:01,558
I retasted that meatball
I ate awhile ago.
304
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:04,094
Oh, your son seems
to be
305
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:06,697
Quite popular
with our young ladies.
306
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,105
Kid's got
the verducci charm.
307
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,775
No, I've got
the verducci charm.
308
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,179
You're not allowed
in the men's room, are ya?
309
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,515
Of course not.
310
00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:26,050
Well, that's
where I'll be.
311
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,757
Charlie:
It's an interesting point,
nelson.
312
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,324
Very well put.
313
00:16:34,325 --> 00:16:35,860
I don't want
to give my son a job
314
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,629
In any of
my many companies.
315
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,098
That's no way
to learn responsibility.
316
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,200
So I'm wondering maybe,
you know, you can give him
317
00:16:43,201 --> 00:16:45,002
Some kind
of an executive position.
318
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,536
But, hey,
don't spoil the boy.
319
00:16:46,537 --> 00:16:50,174
Start him off at, what,
three, four hundred thousand.
320
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,176
Dollars?
321
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:54,345
[mutters]
go back to nodding.
322
00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:56,413
So, what do you say?
323
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,583
Where did the boy
go to school?
324
00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:02,019
Uh, p.S. 124.
325
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:03,787
Yale.
326
00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:06,790
Oh, my son went to yale.
Uh, let me call him over.
327
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:09,026
Did I say yale?
Silly me.
328
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:10,427
I meant to say
harvard.
329
00:17:10,428 --> 00:17:13,030
Now, my son went
to harvard.
330
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,298
Um, let me call
him over--
331
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:16,433
I didn't mean harvard.
332
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,002
Where did I go?
333
00:17:19,203 --> 00:17:20,971
Go over there.
334
00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:22,539
Over there?
Yeah, over there.
335
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:23,741
Okay, I'll
be over here.
336
00:17:27,178 --> 00:17:28,946
Okay, here's the truth.
337
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:34,685
Once, he was
a very promising scholar,
338
00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,620
But then he had
this tricycle accident.
339
00:17:38,422 --> 00:17:40,357
Okay, here's the truth.
340
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:42,192
Look, we know
each other for so long,
341
00:17:42,193 --> 00:17:44,494
We're such good friends, I feel
I can be honest with you.
342
00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:46,496
Now, I should have
mentioned it in greece,
343
00:17:46,497 --> 00:17:48,632
But, you know, yacht,
344
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,568
Tapestries, zorba...
345
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,270
So here it is.
346
00:17:53,271 --> 00:17:55,438
The kid's a genius,
347
00:17:55,439 --> 00:17:57,374
But he's lazy.
348
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,608
So I'm thinking,
349
00:17:58,609 --> 00:18:00,277
I'll cut him off,
you give him a job,
350
00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:01,378
But he's gotta make due
351
00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:04,614
On the lousy 400 grand
a year you pay him.
352
00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,283
Let him suffer a little.
353
00:18:07,285 --> 00:18:08,852
It works.
354
00:18:10,621 --> 00:18:12,856
That's what my dad
had to do to me.
355
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,494
Now, I learned
my lesson.
Yeah.
356
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:18,362
Well, then we're
in agreement.
Hm.
357
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,697
Oh, charles.
358
00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:22,266
Oh, I'm sorry
to drag him away,
359
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,768
But this is
very important.
360
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:26,670
Charles.
361
00:18:26,671 --> 00:18:28,372
I was hoping
to see you
362
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:30,540
At the littlefield
party next week,
363
00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:33,677
But I checked and your name
is not on the guest list.
364
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:36,680
Oh, it's
a horrible oversight.
365
00:18:36,681 --> 00:18:37,948
By the way, are, uh,
366
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:41,852
My dear friends roger
and nelson gonna be there?
367
00:18:41,853 --> 00:18:42,920
Why, yes.
368
00:18:42,921 --> 00:18:45,489
Well, then I must
be there too.
369
00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:48,225
Oh, I'm afraid
it's just impossible.
370
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,897
Charlie:
Ah, what the hell.
371
00:18:53,898 --> 00:18:55,432
I was a marine.
372
00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:04,741
[panting]
373
00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:09,480
The party's at 8:30.
374
00:19:16,187 --> 00:19:17,921
[gargling]
375
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:21,224
How you doing, pop?
376
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:25,295
Great. I'm even starting to get
some feeling back in my tongue.
377
00:19:26,564 --> 00:19:27,731
You know,
it's amazing.
378
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:30,601
I was just musing
about our evening.
379
00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:32,702
You know, the difference,
yet the sameness,
380
00:19:32,703 --> 00:19:34,738
Between the rich
and poor.
381
00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:37,407
And as the philosopher--
382
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:39,009
I can't remember
his name.
383
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,010
--Said,
384
00:19:40,011 --> 00:19:42,479
"the rich..."
385
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,415
No, no. "the poor..."
386
00:19:45,416 --> 00:19:46,550
No, wait.
387
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:48,452
Jeez, I don't remember
what the guy said.
388
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:51,855
But I remember,
it shaped my young life.
389
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:54,658
What the hell
was it?
390
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:57,827
Doesn't matter.
You got the gist of it.
391
00:19:57,828 --> 00:19:59,229
The important thing is
392
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:03,800
That through my god-given
charm and verducciness,
393
00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:05,970
My master plan is working.
394
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:08,038
And I got phone numbers
shoved in my pocket
395
00:20:08,039 --> 00:20:10,440
By every pretty girl
in that room.
396
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,975
So I guess
what I'm saying is,
397
00:20:11,976 --> 00:20:13,543
I won't be home nights
398
00:20:13,544 --> 00:20:16,246
For about a year.
399
00:20:16,247 --> 00:20:18,882
Wait a minute. You're not gonna
sleep with any of them
400
00:20:18,883 --> 00:20:20,851
Till we got a commitment.
401
00:20:24,388 --> 00:20:26,624
We gotta start
thinking like women.
402
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:29,726
No band on the hand,
no nookie for cookie.
403
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:35,532
Not even the one
404
00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:38,235
Who dots the I in her name
with her mouth?
405
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,407
No.
406
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,941
You're just gonna
have to follow
407
00:20:44,942 --> 00:20:46,744
The verducci master plan,
408
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:50,013
Or bad things will happen
to mr. Fluffy.
409
00:20:51,549 --> 00:20:52,783
You wouldn't.
410
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,152
Hey, as much as I love him,
if you say no,
411
00:20:55,153 --> 00:20:58,055
He's on a plate of noodles
in a thai restaurant.
412
00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:00,691
Shh. Pop, come on.
413
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:02,292
You know
he understands everything.
414
00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:03,727
I hope so.
415
00:21:03,728 --> 00:21:06,697
'cause nothing is gonna
stand in the way of my dream.
416
00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:09,633
You are gonna find yourself
a rich woman to marry.
417
00:21:09,634 --> 00:21:10,934
And even if you don't,
418
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:13,671
Only good things happen
when you're around money.
419
00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:15,973
Money gives money
good jobs.
420
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,208
Money gives money
stock tips.
421
00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:19,442
And let's face it,
422
00:21:19,443 --> 00:21:21,611
What the hell's the worst
thing that could happen?
423
00:21:21,612 --> 00:21:24,148
Money could run over us
with its car.
424
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,652
Then we sue money's ass.
425
00:21:28,653 --> 00:21:30,854
Oh!
426
00:21:30,855 --> 00:21:33,691
So are you with me?
427
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:34,991
I'm with you, pop.
428
00:21:34,992 --> 00:21:37,160
That's my boy.
429
00:21:37,161 --> 00:21:38,161
[hisses]
430
00:21:41,199 --> 00:21:42,566
[both laughing]
431
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,771
[♪]